At a recent shooting competition in Kuwait, a woman from Kazakhstan won the gold medal and kept a stiff upper lip at the awards ceremony as the sound guys played the wrong national anthem — the parody anthem from the movie Borat. The Kuwaitis had inadvertently downloaded it from a Google search, thinking it was authentic.
The lyrics, with a very convincing chorus and deep cello rhythms, include: “Kazakhstan, greatest country in the world! All other countries are run by little girls…. Kazakhstan, home of Tin Shein swimming pool, filtration system a marvel to behold! It removes 80 percent of solid human waste…. Kazakhstan industry best in world! We invented toffee and trouser belt…”
Kazakhstan has demanded, and received, an apology from Kuwait, which is apparently too distant a target for Kazakhstan's air force.
Add this to the catalog of mishaps and disasters brought on by our ever-evolving digital age:
Several tourists in the Southwest and around the world have wandered off on hair-raising detours while following the recommended “shortest route” of their GPS units. No, the map is not the territory, they discovered, as the family SUV lurched and spun over un-indicated 4WD boulder gardens descending to a cliff edge.
With naïve postings on Facebook or online forums, many people have lost jobs, reputations, and sometimes their lives. Others have been the victims of malicious defamations or embarrassing photos that go viral, sometimes global.
Studies have shown that texting while driving causes the same impairment as half a bottle of moonshine, and it's endemic among the worst drivers, those under 22. Voice communications are almost as distracting, and irritating and dangerous to those who have to navigate around the erratic driving. In New York, a pedestrian yapping on her smartphone fell straight down an open manhole (the workers had taken a five-minute break).
There's a strong case that our addicting wireless devices have all but destroyed certain manners, not that we Americans practice many of them. Example: Two Americans are talking. A third enters the scene, who knows only one of them. Are the strangers introduced? No, of course not (unless it's a formal occasion). They're left there awkwardly ignoring each other, maybe eventually entering into a conversation together — or not. Soon, one of them may initiate the introduction, and the “host,” who knows both parties, blurts: “Oh, I'm sorry! (I should have introduced you).”
Unquestionably, it's gotten worse with the iPhone and clones. Parties A and B are dining out. Party A's cell rings, and he/she just must answer it, and enter into a long, animated conversation, and if it's really dramatic, sometimes loud enough for the neighboring tables to eavesdrop on with fascination (”Yes, I'm popular and interesting!”).
And Party B, unless he brought along a magazine or book, is left to study the owner's biography page on the menu. I know people who must check their device messages every 15 minutes, or they begin to fidget and black out — digital anoxia. A relative of mine keeps his cell in his bathrobe pocket on a hook by the stall when he's showering; he's bitterly disappointed that Jobs didn't come out with a fully waterproof model before his demise.
Some polls have shown that many people would give up almost anything else in their lives — including spouses — rather than their internet connection.
The Pentagon and allies are pumping up their cyberwarfare budgets, convinced that this will be the main front in the next cold war or hot war. Private corporations and political parties worldwide are following suit, as elucidated in an India Daily article featuring the research of University of Victoria computer science staff:
“The Internet Water Army is a group of individuals who act as paid mercenaries to inundate the internet with comments, gossip, or other content to build up or demolish credibility of articles, information, websites and more. These people demolish the consumer ranking of products and services, create false images, and provide a sense of false perception to destroy the truth. Some blame China as the pioneer of the Internet Water Army. China may be using the same but the list of abusers is vast. It is very common in the free world. The corporations are employing them, the unions are employing them, and even the political parties employ them. The Internet Water Army is typically tasked with registering on a website and then producing content in the form of posts, articles, links to sites and videos, etc.”
Yes, there is a war going on for control of your mind. And as the old saying goes, “the first casualty of war is the truth.” The new wireless world has enabled unparalleled convenience, communication and access to information, but spend too much time and trust here, and you may end up completely detached from reality — the definition of insanity.
This first appeared in the Grand Junction Free Press
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